My son, Vinnie occasionally has a temper/frustration eruption. When a child is four years old, it is frustrating for him to put his feelings into words.
As our special needs son matures into his twenty second year, I find myself off balance when trying to bring Vinnie into a calmer mindset. I find that if I only address his initial verbal concern, the root issue stays hidden inside him and continues to build.
It is often beneficial to employ one of Vinnie's stuffed 'character/ make believe friends' to help convey what Vinnie is feeling. Vinnie often tells Annie or me what his stuffed character is feeling.
Continuing a conversation with Vinnie this way allows us to get more insight into his concerns.
Example: What starts out as an outburst due to a misplaced DVD movie may find its base of frustration from a combination of the tone of someone's voice AND not having a job AND thinking about what's for dinner AND a barking dog outside... I think you get the idea.
Vinnie has an idea about my consulting hypnosis practice and has experienced hypnosis to focus on his bowling game with Special Olympics. It was surprising though when he suggested that we use hypnosis to work with his characters to 'help' them with their frustrations.
Using one of his characters as the 'hypnotist' and another as the client, I used a fantasy induction with Vinnie's stuffed animal friend and continued with a few minutes of deepening.
As Vinnie followed along, he became calmer and focused on the words being spoken to his character/client. A direct suggestion to focus on deep, slow breathing was given to the 'client' and his owner... Vinnie.
We've done this several times with generally positive results and less intensive blow-ups/ meltdowns to date.
Like anything, repetition is important. I continue to follow up several times a month with Vinnie to gently reinforce the suggestion to focus on his breathing before his frustration level ramps up beyond his ability to constructively control it.
When working with clients I offer the opportunity to learn self-hypnosis as a means for controlling the level of stress in their lives. Similarly I want my family to be empowered to recognize when stress is increasing and do something constructive to control or diffuse it.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Bowling
My son bowls on a Special Olympics bowling team during the year. During the summer he bowls with another therapy group comprised of special needs clients.
Bowling is one of his joys... when he is focused. When he isn't, he can be sullen, and crabby. The important thing is to keep him focused.
We learned a few years ago that his stuffed animal characters, i.e.; Sponge Bob, Yacko Warner (from the Animaniacs) could hold his focus quicker and longer than Annie and I could.
Vinnie's 'Characters' (as we call them) become whatever is needed to get Vinnie to stay on track. During a bowling event last spring, one of the 'Characters' became Vinnie's bowling coach.
In helping to keep Vinnie on track, some of his teammates become interested in Vinnie's 'coach'. With their parent's approval, Vinnie's teammates take part by having Vinnie's 'coach' cheer and praise them to do the best they can.
There are also times when we have to limit the pretending with his characters. Most of the time it is fun to interact with Vinnie's stuffed animals. There are also times when we need a rest and tell Vinnie that we have to stop pretending.
Bowling is one of his joys... when he is focused. When he isn't, he can be sullen, and crabby. The important thing is to keep him focused.
We learned a few years ago that his stuffed animal characters, i.e.; Sponge Bob, Yacko Warner (from the Animaniacs) could hold his focus quicker and longer than Annie and I could.
Vinnie's 'Characters' (as we call them) become whatever is needed to get Vinnie to stay on track. During a bowling event last spring, one of the 'Characters' became Vinnie's bowling coach.
In helping to keep Vinnie on track, some of his teammates become interested in Vinnie's 'coach'. With their parent's approval, Vinnie's teammates take part by having Vinnie's 'coach' cheer and praise them to do the best they can.
There are also times when we have to limit the pretending with his characters. Most of the time it is fun to interact with Vinnie's stuffed animals. There are also times when we need a rest and tell Vinnie that we have to stop pretending.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Hello,I am the parent of a special needs son as well as a Consulting Hypnotist. This blog will comment upon some of the events that my family has experienced or faced. It will also comment on how hypnosis and self- hypnosis may be beneficial to caregivers and families.
Professionally the focus of my practice is directed at offering resources to families with special needs issues.
Although there is not one specific issue or concern that I address with my client(s)... stress, anger, guilt and improving sleep habits are examples of issues that I work with my clients to improve or control.
Further information can be found at www.slugahypnosis.com
A bit about my family.
My wife Annie and I adopted our son Vinnie from an orphanage in central Mexico in April of 1991. He was four years old at the time and had a very limited medical history. Very little was known of his mother or father.
Vinnie lived at the orphanage in Celaya, Mexico from the time he was eight days old. Vinnie was almost four years old when we were introduced to him and began the legal adoption work. It took about 2 months to complete the legal work and return home with him.
It was one of our dreams and goals to have a family and we are blessed with Vinnie as our son.
As we continued to get acclimated to each other and follow through with complete medical, dental and visual examinations for Vinnie, we became aware of issues that weren't noticed while he was a child at the orphanage.
In short order we were apprised of some of the issues that were to become challenges for Vinnie and us.
Vinnie's eye examination showed a diagnosis of bilateral cataracts of which the left lens was unstable and was soon removed with cataract surgery.
Various intestinal parasitic issues were also addressed and resolved.
The first 'hint' that other issues might be at play came when we were referred to Dr Ira J. Chasnoff, a doctor specializing in Fetal Alcohol Effect/ Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Dr. Chasnoff concurred that Vinnie displayed some of the classic signs of FAS/FAE including: learning disorders and poor impulse control as well as anxiety and a minor heart defect.
As our family continued to mature through the years we have received additional diagnosis describing Autism Spectrum issues, AAD, bi-polar tendencies and depression.
However, we are blessed as a family. We live our family life a day at a time... sometimes an hour at a time. We have Vinnie to love and he loves us.
We have many friends and acquaintances who are parents and / or caregivers of special needs children. They are in similar or more difficult situations with greater challenges than we are faced with.
As we all try to be involved in support, social and therapy groups and friendships, we continue to share information and keep each other motivated to do the best we can for our children, siblings and other family members.
So What?
What does hypnosis have to do with special needs families and their issues?
As a caregiver, stress rides at the forefront of all issues. There are times when our family is focusing on our child's care to the detriment of our own health. We may think that if we can get through the 'current crisis du jour', we can finally relax but life doesn't dole out challenges one at a time, it seems to over lap them. Juggling balls seems to come to mind occasionally.
So, stress builds, it begins to affect our demeanor which leads to poor sleeping habits which affects our health which adds to our stress. And on and on.
Issues with guilt- I've spoken with clients that have carried a feeling of guilt with them for years or decades. This 'Stinkin Thinkin' as on of my mentors aptly states serves no use to the person carrying it with no benefit at all. Learning to release or deal with that guilt can remove a tremendous burden from their life and refocus their resources more effectively.
Forgiveness- Often the person needing forgiveness the most is the client. A major event happens and the client carries the psychic pain with them for the rest of their life. The client can learn to forgive those that did him or her wrong and regain control of their life. This doesn't mean that when you forgive, you forget... The client can learn that they can regain the control that belongs to him or her.
Professionally the focus of my practice is directed at offering resources to families with special needs issues.
Although there is not one specific issue or concern that I address with my client(s)... stress, anger, guilt and improving sleep habits are examples of issues that I work with my clients to improve or control.
Further information can be found at www.slugahypnosis.com
A bit about my family.
My wife Annie and I adopted our son Vinnie from an orphanage in central Mexico in April of 1991. He was four years old at the time and had a very limited medical history. Very little was known of his mother or father.
Vinnie lived at the orphanage in Celaya, Mexico from the time he was eight days old. Vinnie was almost four years old when we were introduced to him and began the legal adoption work. It took about 2 months to complete the legal work and return home with him.
It was one of our dreams and goals to have a family and we are blessed with Vinnie as our son.
As we continued to get acclimated to each other and follow through with complete medical, dental and visual examinations for Vinnie, we became aware of issues that weren't noticed while he was a child at the orphanage.
In short order we were apprised of some of the issues that were to become challenges for Vinnie and us.
Vinnie's eye examination showed a diagnosis of bilateral cataracts of which the left lens was unstable and was soon removed with cataract surgery.
Various intestinal parasitic issues were also addressed and resolved.
The first 'hint' that other issues might be at play came when we were referred to Dr Ira J. Chasnoff, a doctor specializing in Fetal Alcohol Effect/ Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Dr. Chasnoff concurred that Vinnie displayed some of the classic signs of FAS/FAE including: learning disorders and poor impulse control as well as anxiety and a minor heart defect.
As our family continued to mature through the years we have received additional diagnosis describing Autism Spectrum issues, AAD, bi-polar tendencies and depression.
However, we are blessed as a family. We live our family life a day at a time... sometimes an hour at a time. We have Vinnie to love and he loves us.
We have many friends and acquaintances who are parents and / or caregivers of special needs children. They are in similar or more difficult situations with greater challenges than we are faced with.
As we all try to be involved in support, social and therapy groups and friendships, we continue to share information and keep each other motivated to do the best we can for our children, siblings and other family members.
So What?
What does hypnosis have to do with special needs families and their issues?
As a caregiver, stress rides at the forefront of all issues. There are times when our family is focusing on our child's care to the detriment of our own health. We may think that if we can get through the 'current crisis du jour', we can finally relax but life doesn't dole out challenges one at a time, it seems to over lap them. Juggling balls seems to come to mind occasionally.
So, stress builds, it begins to affect our demeanor which leads to poor sleeping habits which affects our health which adds to our stress. And on and on.
Issues with guilt- I've spoken with clients that have carried a feeling of guilt with them for years or decades. This 'Stinkin Thinkin' as on of my mentors aptly states serves no use to the person carrying it with no benefit at all. Learning to release or deal with that guilt can remove a tremendous burden from their life and refocus their resources more effectively.
Forgiveness- Often the person needing forgiveness the most is the client. A major event happens and the client carries the psychic pain with them for the rest of their life. The client can learn to forgive those that did him or her wrong and regain control of their life. This doesn't mean that when you forgive, you forget... The client can learn that they can regain the control that belongs to him or her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
